So often you hear things told to you as a child that you never question, whether from family, friends, or society. Perhaps you were told life is a constant struggle, or money doesn’t grow on trees, or passion always fades over time in a romantic relationship.

You may not even realize that you are believing something that you don’t want to be true for you.  But if you believe it, then it will be.

If you start to question the thoughts you have blindly accepted as ‘reality’, you can shift the ones that are not in alignment with what you desire for your life.

First ask yourself where the thought came from.  Next ask yourself if you want to continue to believe it.  Then ask yourself what would you choose to have be your truth instead.  And finally feed yourself the truth you want by saying it again and again, connecting it with your heart and faith, and in this way, you can consciously create more of what you want in your life.

Just because someone else chooses to accept a limited belief in their life, doesn’t mean it has to apply to you!

We all know that fear can be paralyzing.  It can cause us to shut down and never pursue our dreams, or overcome the obstacles that serve as our greatest teachers in life.

I have always believed that whatever is our greatest fear, is exactly the direction for us to walk.  That in facing our fear, we can overcome and rise up in new heights of confidence and achievement.

The more we focus on the actual fear, the more we grow it.  The more we can focus on the actions we are taking to travel through the fear, the sooner we get to the other side which is how the fear diminishes.

Initially courage is what can propel us in our actions.  It’s not that we won’t still feel afraid, but we will have the strength to face our fears.  As we walk through them, they lose their power.  We discover we are actually greater than our fears.

Yet if we never take the steps toward the fear but always cower away and try to avoid it, our fear will grow until it overtakes us.  The only way to not become paralyzed and limited by fear is to actually walk into the face of it.

What is your greatest fear?  What is one small step you can take today toward that fear?  Focus on that step, not on the fear itself.  Before long, that fear will no longer have any negative power over you.

How often do you say what you actually mean?  How conscious are you of the manner in which you express yourself?

Everything can be spoken positively or negatively.  The way we speak reflects the thoughts we have, the interpretations we make, and the perceptions that frame the picture of the life we are living.  It is easy to say things without being conscious of the words we choose, and it is even easier to not realize the power inherent in our language.  If you are constantly saying things like, ‘pain in the neck’ and ‘it’s killing me’, you are inviting these things into your life.  If you are constantly saying things like, ‘I am grateful’ or in a more challenging circumstance, ‘it could be better’, then you are working with your language to invite better, and more things to be grateful for to come to you.

The language spoken by the people around you impact how you feel in general.  Start listening to learn more about who they are, how they are experiencing their world, and what they are inviting to be their life.  Ask yourself, is this what YOU want to think, feel, and believe?

The language you speak yourself influences your whole life. Start listening to your words, the ones talking inside your head as well as the ones you say to others. Hear if you are speaking negatively or positively.  What are your catch phrases that unconsciously flow out of you?  Are they inviting that which you truly desire?

Not only can listening to people’s words teach you a lot about the person, listening to your own words, can teach you a lot about yourself!

So often we’re afraid to try something new, or do something others deem as impossible.  Maybe we want to be an inventor, an author, a song writer, a dancer.  Maybe we want to get a certain job or go for a certain degree, but we think we’re too old, too poor, not smart enough, or capable.   Maybe we want more from our relationship but we’re convinced we can’t get it, nothing we do will help.

However, every time we try something, anything, that is a step toward our desired results, we are closer to succeeding in achieving some measure of our goal.

Each time we fail we have an opportunity to learn something that will help us be more successful next time.  Every failure is a step closer to success.

Yet how often do we give up at the first sign of failure?  How often to we let one adversity or defeat discourage us from ever trying again?

If we can actually measure success, not in the end result, but rather in the getting back up and trying again, the journey of our life can remain full of potential, possibilities and fulfillment.  When we commit to not giving up, but rather always getting back up, we are committing to our success, however long it may take to happen.  This makes success guaranteed every step of the way no matter when the end result happens.

So every time you get back up and try again after a failed attempt, congratulate yourself!  That action in and of itself is success in the making.

It’s amazing how hard it is to listen to another, truly listen.  Yet listening is one of the greatest acts of love you can give.

How often are you actually listening to what is being said to you, as opposed to thinking of the response you want to make, a response based on the first 5 words that you just heard?

Perhaps you want to have  a different conversation all together, and all you can think about is when it will be your turn to talk.

We all want to be heard.  That’s how we feel important.  That’s how we feel understood.  That’s how we feel loved.

How well are you loving those around you?  How well are you listening to the important people in your life today?

My child is tired from a day at middle school.  He is busy doing homework and finds himself thirsty.  I get the request for a drink.  I answer the call.  I stop what I’m doing to satisfy his need.  Could he have stopped what he was doing instead to satisfy his thirst?

Am I empowering him to know he can take care of himself by running to get him his drink?  Am I preparing him for a healthy relationship with his future lover, having him assume she will want to stop what she is doing to serve him so he doesn’t have to?

A giving nature takes pleasure in serving. Yet all positive traits can become negative when not done in balance.  By allowing others to serve themselves when they can, we are supporting them in taking care of themselves so they don’t expect others to do it for them.

I am a giver, and it gives me pleasure to please him, and I know he likes when I do for him. I may be able to quench my son’s thirst by giving him a drink but I cannot make him happy.  Only he can do this for himself. If I am always doing for him though, am I actually sending him the message that we must look to others to satisfy ourselves, rather than to ourselves?  Am I actually doing something positive for him?

I know when we look to others to complete us, satisfy us, make us happy, we are setting ourselves up to not experience these things.  Other people can enhance these parts of your life, but ultimately the only person who can truly make you happy and content is you.  If you are always looking to others to do these things for you, you will find yourself disappointed in others.

It is hard for me to disappoint my child in the moment by not getting up to give him something he can get for himself.  As I say “no” to him, I now remind myself, I am actually saying “I love you and I empower you to go and get whatever is going to bring you joy, satisfaction, and pleasure in your life as you continue to grow.”

I want to post this quote I received today from the Daily Guru.  It seems like a great follow up to what I wrote yesterday.

How much power are we draining from ourselves when we constantly berate and diminish who we are?  When we look to compare ourselves to others and make self-judgments in response, we are seeking our answers from outside ourselves.  It’s hard to connect to our strength and discover our own answers if we are treating ourselves poorly and believe we are not good enough as we are.

If you can treat yourself with love and care, acknowledging all the good you truly are, then others won’t seem better to you, even if they are richer or hold a more prestigious job.  We are all powerful within ourselves and we are all everything at one time or another, what we deem good, bad, and extraordinary.  We are also each unique.  If we embrace our uniqueness, we can connect to the power that is our ultimate essence.

Try not to judge yourself from the outside in, according to everyone around you.  Instead, look within yourself, find your gifts, acknowledge their presence and share them.

Most of us don’t even realize how we talk to ourselves.

How often do you make a small mistake only to then berate yourself for hours and days afterwards?

How often do you make a mistake and lovingly tell yourself it’s okay, you’ll learn, move on, and do better next time?

We tend to struggle to be gentle and forgiving with ourselves.  We live much of life feeling guilty over what we’re not doing, or ashamed of what we are, we criticize ourselves for not being thin enough, tall enough, good-looking enough, smart enough, rich enough…I say, ENOUGH!

Life isn’t about being mean to yourself.  Nor is it about being anything other than who you are.  When we beat ourselves up we merely keep ourselves down.  Listen to how you speak to yourself throughout the day, and try to support and boost yourself.  In this way you will grow into the very best you are.

We spend so much of our lives in a state of anticipation, often anticipation of what we don’t want to have happen.  It leads us to living a life in our heads rather than in our bodies and hearts.  You can’t anticipate the present moment because it’s already here.  You know what it is, what it holds, what it looks like.

There are very few moment’s in the present that include fear itself, although there are definitely some.  However, living in anticipation of these potential moments, we end up living through exponentially more in our heads, conjured up by our thoughts, than ever actually materialize!

So the next time you find yourself experiencing fear, ask yourself, what am I afraid of?  Then ask, what part of this fear is actually true right now in this moment?

Try to be present in what is.  Live where you are now.  This is how you can be connected with your body and heart, and live an integrated life based more in your reality than merely in your mind.  You can direct your mind according to what your body tells you and your heart feels.  Instead of allowing your mind to direct your body and heart away from RIGHT NOW by focusing on what is is afraid of in the future.

It’s always so easy to see what’s going on for someone else.  We tend to know just what’s happening for them, why, how, when and where.  We can offer up advice quickly and feel confident in what we’re saying.

Yet it can be so hard to see our own situations with anything close to the clarity we can have for others.  This is because of our perspective.  When you’re sitting in the picture so to speak, it’s very hard to see it with any vision of the picture itself.  What you’re seeing is an outward look from within your situation rather than an outward look of your situation.

So the next time you’re struggling with a situation, ask a trusted friend for some perspective, and try it on and see what feels accurate to you.  You can also consciously try to observe your situation from a few steps back to better understand the big picture.

Most of all, I invite you to be kind to yourself and understand that this is all part of your journey.  Rather than have unrealistic expectations of yourself, embrace your role in the picture of your life, and try to live it with love, integrity and intuition.  Aspire to be the most beautiful presentation of yourself possible in the picture of your life, moment by moment, frame by frame.  Trust when you live with this intention, you are!