strive to be the best reflection

Reflections



December 26th, 2016
Living My Song

Things changed dramatically when I was 42. During this time, I wrote a song of everything I wanted to breathe life into for myself, as I was creating on a new canvas, and had enough awareness to know that what I focused on is what I would grow.

As I sing this song to myself now, I marvel at how, less than a decade later, I am living this song from my heart…

“Let go in the moment.  Release what you’re holding onto. Be who you are.
Let go of the judgment, good, bad, right, or wrong.  Be who you are.

I Am success, I Am passion, I Am health, I Am free.
I Am authentic, I Am fearless, I Am all that I can be.

It’s the doing, the doing of being, that leads to the feeling of success.
It’s the doing, the doing of being, that leads to fulfillment of success.
I’m committed to do the being of my best.

I Am blessed, I Am grateful, I Am blessed…I Am
I Am blessed, I Am grateful, I Am blessed…I Am”

As another year winds down, and a new one begins, may you all write the songs whispering in your heart, and then keep singing it, until one day you realize, your life IS your song…

 

December 12th, 2016
What are you hearing?

Active listening is truly challenging…Not only can it be hard to keep your own mind quiet enough to hear what someone else is saying, every word used triggers certain definitions and feelings in us that may or may not be what the other person means.  It can be very challenging to not want to say something back, to defend, or illuminate for the other person.  And so often, what we hear versus what the other person means can be very different.

Yet being heard and feeling heard can be one of the most intimate acts two human beings can engage in.

I invite you to be conscious of how well you’re hearing what is being said to you, and rather than make assumptions or build whole stories based on a few words according to your own definitions, consider asking more questions, gaining more clarification of what someone actually means.

December 5th, 2016
Surprise!

Life frequently goes in unexpected ways…Some surprises are wonderful beyond what we expect, while others are unwanted.

Being flexible and fluid will ensure you make the most of every unanticipated experience that comes your way, even when they are undesirable.  Sometimes opportunities or gifts that result from unwanted surprises may take time to see.

When we lose the feeling of control in our life due to surprise, it can be very challenging.
Some surprises feel like waking up into a nightmare, although other surprises can deliver you into a dream come true.

Whatever is happening in your life unexpectedly at this time, may you find peace and strength within your center to navigate the major swings that come from life’s surprises.  And may you be able to see the unexpected gifts that come your way, even from the surprises that are painful.

 

 

November 28th, 2016
Death

We buried my sister-in-law on Friday. It was unexpected, though she hadn’t been well for a while. I dedicate today’s blog to Robin’s life.

Even when expected, and especially when not, death is a shock.

Everyone experiences it in different ways.
However, I believe what everyone does feel is a desire to reflect on their relationship with the deceased, and moving forward, how they may wish to improve – according to their own perception – their relationships with those still alive.

Although troubled in some ways, my sister-in-law Robin had the biggest heart and was a very kind and caring person.
Our children felt especially badly for her sons losing their mother.
We felt sad for losing our sibling, and also for our mother, who had the unnatural experience of losing her child.

While holiday times can be stressful, especially depending upon your family circumstances and situations, I invite everyone to stay focused on love and appreciation of who each person is, rather than who they may not be.

Whether family of birth or chosen, may you treasure those still present in your life today, and let them know you love them.

 

November 21st, 2016
Filling yourself up

We often want someone else to make us happy or make us feel better…And good friends can absolutely help us feel better in times of need.  However, only we can actually make ourselves feel whatever it is we want to feel.  We set ourselves up for disappointment when we think someone else can or should do this for us.

While we are here to experience the gamut of emotions available to us, both positive and negative, only we can fill ourselves up in that dark empty space in the depths of our being.  We may want to be saved by someone else’s love, yet we are the only ones who can reach this space, and it is only our self-love that can fill it with light.

The more you fill yourself up deep within, the easier it is to ride out the waves of emotionality that flavor our days.

November 7th, 2016
Looking the Wrong Way

Unfortunately it can be very easy to assume our lover isn’t loving us up the way we want to be loved when it doesn’t look exactly like what we think it “should”.

Most everyone wants to feel valued, appreciated, cherished, and adored by our mate.
However, my mate might show me all of these things in ways I don’t notice or count, so I miss them and feel unloved instead.

The more you value, appreciate, cherish, and adore the thoughtful actions your spouse does make towards you, the more you will be able to see that you are receiving the very thing you want from them, even if it’s not how you originally thought you wanted it.

The Universe works in the same way — much of the gifts you receive will not show up in the way you expect — don’t miss them by refusing to see what does arrive for you, and value the goodness in what you are given.

October 31st, 2016
The Whole Person

Making assumptions about people is easy.  However, believing your assumptions tell you a whole story about who they are can sometimes mislead you.
Your assumptions could come from interactions you’ve had with them directly, or stories you’ve heard from others.
They could come from memories of who they may have been in the past, or beliefs you subscribe to today.

However, people can change over time, and we often don’t know a whole person simply from the small slice of them we may see.
Certain people are very different depending up the environment they are in, or the people they are with.
Some people are different in the privacy of their own home, or in their most intimate relationships.

It is not our place to judge others.
It is our place to decide who we want to be surrounded by.

Just because we may not want to be around certain people, does not make them bad, simply not a fit for us.

So the next time you find yourself filling in all the blanks about who someone is, consider allowing them to fill in those spaces for you, and then decide if they are a good fit for you or not.

October 24th, 2016
Being Seen

I See You
Theme from Avatar

Everyone wants to be “seen”…
It’s what helps us feel connected, valued, loved, and appreciated by those around us.

Unfortunately we cannot make other people “see” us.
However, we can be our most genuine, accurate, reflection of our self, giving others the best chance to “see” us…
And we can also “see” others in the way we wish to be seen.

Try not to see others as you expect them to be.
Rather be open to “see” others as they truly are, beneath the surface of their details, quirks, and idiosyncrasies.

How well do you “see” the Divine essence in others?
One of the greatest gifts we can give is…I See You

October 17th, 2016
Sexual Communication

Communicating our needs in general can be tough, communicating our sexual needs can be even tougher…

It can be hard to let a lover know how you want to be touched, what feels really good to you, and things you want to explore.
It is especially hard when you’ve become accustom to a certain sexual pattern with your partner, and now you want to shake things up.
You don’t want your lover to think you’ve not be satisfied all this time.
However, the only constant in life is change, and this is true for all things.
Everything either expands and grows, or withers and dies.
It’s normal in growth and expansion to want to keep trying new things, and have the things that really excite you to change.
While it can be hard to let the person you love know that you want to change something up sexually, it doesn’t have to be threatening or critical.
Start with sharing all that you still enjoy, and then move into asking for more of what you would like to invite and experiment with.
The less you judge yourself and your partner, the easier it will be for you to be heard, and your partner to feel excited with you in expanding this aspect of your relationship…

October 10th, 2016
Discernment

People often confuse judgment with discernment.

Discernment is a very valuable and necessary skill to hone.  It is the tool that helps you decide if something or someone resonates with you or not.

Judgment however is taking discernment beyond what’s right for you and making it about another person or situation.

This usually involves us telling ourselves a negative story, in order to feel better about what is right for us.  We feel better convincing ourselves the other person or situation is wrong.
However, it’s important to remember while something may be wrong for us, this doesn’t mean it has to be wrong for someone else.

I invite you to start catching yourself when your discernment turns into judgment.
It is always appropriate to decide what is and is not right for you, and to choose what you want to pursue and what you are not interested in.
This is all that is required for discernment.

Allow everyone, including yourself, the freedom to choose what’s right for them, without needing to take it to judgment.