Archive for October, 2016

The Whole Person

Monday, October 31st, 2016

Making assumptions about people is easy.  However, believing your assumptions tell you a whole story about who they are can sometimes mislead you.
Your assumptions could come from interactions you’ve had with them directly, or stories you’ve heard from others.
They could come from memories of who they may have been in the past, or beliefs you subscribe to today.

However, people can change over time, and we often don’t know a whole person simply from the small slice of them we may see.
Certain people are very different depending up the environment they are in, or the people they are with.
Some people are different in the privacy of their own home, or in their most intimate relationships.

It is not our place to judge others.
It is our place to decide who we want to be surrounded by.

Just because we may not want to be around certain people, does not make them bad, simply not a fit for us.

So the next time you find yourself filling in all the blanks about who someone is, consider allowing them to fill in those spaces for you, and then decide if they are a good fit for you or not.

Being Seen

Monday, October 24th, 2016

Everyone wants to be “seen”…
It’s what helps us feel connected, valued, loved, and appreciated by those around us.

Unfortunately we cannot make other people “see” us.
However, we can be our most genuine, accurate, reflection of our self, giving others the best chance to “see” us…
And we can also “see” others in the way we wish to be seen.

Try not to see others as you expect them to be.
Rather be open to “see” others as they truly are, beneath the surface of their details, quirks, and idiosyncrasies.

How well do you “see” the Divine essence in others?
One of the greatest gifts we can give is…I See You

Sexual Communication

Monday, October 17th, 2016

It can be hard to let a lover know how you want to be touched, what feels really good to you, and things you want to explore.
It is especially hard when you’ve become accustom to a certain sexual pattern with your partner, and now you want to shake things up.
You don’t want your lover to think you’ve not be satisfied all this time.
However, the only constant in life is change, and this is true for all things.
Everything either expands and grows, or withers and dies.
It’s normal in growth and expansion to want to keep trying new things, and have the things that really excite you to change.
While it can be hard to let the person you love know that you want to change something up sexually, it doesn’t have to be threatening or critical.
Start with sharing all that you still enjoy, and then move into asking for more of what you would like to invite and experiment with.
The less you judge yourself and your partner, the easier it will be for you to be heard, and your partner to feel excited with you in expanding this aspect of your relationship…

Discernment

Monday, October 10th, 2016

Discernment is a very valuable and necessary skill to hone.  It is the tool that helps you decide if something or someone resonates with you or not.

Judgment however is taking discernment beyond what’s right for you and making it about another person or situation.

This usually involves us telling ourselves a negative story, in order to feel better about what is right for us.  We feel better convincing ourselves the other person or situation is wrong.
However, it’s important to remember while something may be wrong for us, this doesn’t mean it has to be wrong for someone else.

I invite you to start catching yourself when your discernment turns into judgment.
It is always appropriate to decide what is and is not right for you, and to choose what you want to pursue and what you are not interested in.
This is all that is required for discernment.

Allow everyone, including yourself, the freedom to choose what’s right for them, without needing to take it to judgment.

Redefining Perfection

Monday, October 3rd, 2016

Many of my clients struggle to find satisfaction and joy in their daily lives due to an attachment to attaining and maintaining an external measurement of perfection – an extreme achievement.

While I believe we are intended to grow and expand throughout our lives, I believe that the most “perfect” any of us can be in any moment is to be our most authentic true self, aspiring to be our best, coming from love.

I propose we adjust the definition of the word perfect.  Rather than have it be something that sets us up to fail more often than not, how about we define it as something that we can succeed in…

Using the Toltec wisdom from Miguel Ruiz, as long as we are being the best we can be in any given moment, is there really any more ultimate achievement we can make?